Clogged on perfect

The coming together of the inner and outer worlds moment by moment by moment.  In this coming together we spark life and grow expansively, we learn abuout our strengths our weaknesses and our capabilities…which so often we underestimate and our questions of exploration which we so often disregard!

There is no perfect version of you.  No final destination, no true final self as a blueprint to which to aspire – there is however an exhalted and ideal way to BE in each moment, according to what is abailable within and being presented from the outside.    In connection with your core,  centered within, we receive the feedback about our inner states and how to relate to oureelves and the surroundings accordingly. All wisdom is sourced from wiin as our inner principles have the opportunity to come alive against experiences. W come to know we have have as strenghts to be refined and understood (because strengths be weaknesses when administered in wrong force, time, condition in the absnce of wisdom) and what we have as weaknesses to be exhalted (it is the situations that we encumter over and over that seem to end nadly that arae he ones calling for us to fill in the space with the development of weaker qualities…so lovingly called “lessons”).

Which powers are you overusing and which are underdevelopped?

Tune into yourself. Imagine that you sit inside of your heart and onserve yourself and then Life looking out from within this seat.  When you sense the inner world you will learn to communicate with it – ask what is the central message of the energy of this moment.  What is the calling.  What have I to learn in order to balance my powers, to grow coherently…this adds to the life potential of your experience but also for the experince of many lives connected to our own.
Anyhing less than unconditional presence is an attack on yourself.  Any aspiration to be that which you are not at the moment, is an attack on your Being.  If you are getting the message that you are not in the place that you consider ideal, the best way forward is with inner pause.  Relate to who you are in the now – do not strain. Ask – what motivates my desire – am I trying to be “better” because I am not perfect (ouch!!!!) or am I asking myself kindly what is my lesson?


Can’t touch it…won’t heal it

We heal ourselves with conscious intent – having a clarity of and presence for the world within. We have become quite adept at avoiding our innerworlds. In this avoidance, we disempower ourselves because have chosen to disconnect from that which ails us. In choosing to disconnect, we lose conscious awareness of the wound. Awareness of something is connection to it – and in order to heal, clear, transform anything we must be able to connect with it. How can we heal anything that we are not able to touch? Interaction with wounds means that we feel them again. Sometimes it is easier (and sometimes necessary) to take some space from our wounds in order to build strength and the energy to greet that which is calling for healing. Avoidance is unconscious. The conscious decision to take space is a different orientation altogether. There is a difference between being conscious of pain, understanding it’s source, and recognizing that in order to heal this a resource of humour or connection needs to be built. It’s a totally differnt story when we feel the lack of strength to heal something and just tuck it away for “later” without first acknowledging what’s missing. Every inner action and outer action is a choice. Some choise are made consciously amd others unconsciously.

Healing for Each Other

We can only wield ourselves in total self mastery when we know ourselves. To heal oneself, is to know oneself. To know oneself is to shine a light into the crevices of the subconscious. Only our disowned aspects can be used and use us. Darkness hides in pain. That which is held in the subconscious, hides from our awareness.
By recognizing and reclaiming disowned aspects of ourselves that operate outside of our conscious awareness, we restore the wholeness of our psyches. This wholeness is a state of self-integration. Self-integration is the state in which there are no hidden aspects of self. In this state we are whole, coherent, awakened to ourselves, and therefore masters of the dark – in healing ourselves, we contribute to the healing of the overall reality.

Why we Fear Change

When we are healing, Whether we are working with healing our relationships with ourselves, with others, with our careers even, navigating change is important to address because healing is all about change… Why is transformation so scary, why is change hard, and how can we embrace the change.

When we go into fear about change, this is the ego snapping on in a survival mentality, with all of its good intentions…but really creating a block that can feel a bit like an angry bull we can’t get past!

This is the nature of a fear filled ego. And the ego, Is afraid of two things relative to change – it asks:

1) Who will I become

2) What will become of me

The who will I become question is about identity. The ego understands itself in a certain shape and from. It feels a certain way to be who you are, and this is comfortable territory if only because it is familiar. The egos deepest fear is death. The ego’s deepest delusion is permanence. So what the ego believes is that if it keeps everything status quo and permanent that it will live on forever.

But that is completely false! The death is in stagnation, in attempting to keep things permanent. Creativity is a constant process of change and transformation.

The ego likes things to be the way that it knows things, and if it sense something coming in that could changes things…the ego starts to fear its own death – this applies not only to external events, but shifts in the internal world – because if it changes what it is, then its not what it right now, its something else – and that something else means that whatever it was before no longer exists. In other words, the things that it knows itself as in that moment, has died. This fear of its own death motivates the ego to create or avoid certain thoughts, circumstances, people, feelings and even healing.

The fear of “what will become of me” – this is about your identity relative to other people. This fear is about relationships with others. The ego says, if I change the way that I act, what I believe, what I value, who believe I am…will me family still accept me, will my friends still like me, will my colleagues still respect me. This is about belonging being wired into us as a survival need – will I be accepted.

To address the ego’s delusion about permanence… a little reminded to our little friend, that everything is in constant change and flux. You are not the same person you were an hour ago a day ago a month ago a year ago, and so on and so on. Transformation is inevitable, the idea that permanence is possible is false. We can resists the change or learn to carry ourselves through with wisdom and in care for he little fears of the ego, the way we turn on a night light for a child who is afraid of monsters under the bed.

We need to carry ourselves forward with wisdom, the ego has no wisdom – it has fear. The place from which you have decided, deep from within that something needs to change – is the place you need to face the fear that the ego creates in its desire to hold on to what is. So you know that something is off and you are trying to heal it….and the ego is trying on all of its signals in order to preserve itself, to avoid its own death – but in wisdom this stagnation is a death and permanence is suffering.

The ego creates stories about rejection, not belonging, being disrespected, not being good enough – and then emotion infuses that idea into a system, making it feel all the more real and we project a fear of failure into the future that keeps us stuck. Creativity is the aliveness!!

**The ego and the psyche are also the locations where childhood trauma is held. There may be woundings held here that create the experiences of fear in our lives, which compound the tendency of the ego to fear change. If this is the case, it is all the more important to be gentle, to not force anything on your path to change and carry our healing process with respect for our own boundaries.

False self, false reality (Why we lose our standards)

When we are attached to the idea that we need to be something particular, that we should like something that we don’t like, feel a way that we don’t feel…we become separated from our inner guidance. We adopt the standards of the world around us, rather than honouring the standards that are signaled from within.

To reclaim a life that feels meaningful to live, we need to reclaim our individual standards.  Along the way, we’ve adopted the standards of other people; causing us to live by rules that don’t belong to us, and create lives that don’t belong to us either!

So how do you figure our what your true standards are? 

The Blocks:

  1. It’s hard at first. We have been influenced to think and feel in many different ways that often don’t align with what we really want, and have a hard time telling the difference between our core voice and the beliefs that are not ours. Let’s call this ‘inner conflict’
  2. Think back to school – Let’s say, you liked math…but you hated art class. You were expected to participate in art class, weren’t you? So you may have felt forced into art. The implied message there was that you should ignore what you prefer and adapt to what you’re told. Had you been nurtured on math, you would have been taught to honour your preferences.
  3. Think back to home – Let’s say you were feeling angry. Did somebody connect with you to work through it?  If not…you might be running the belief/trauma that it is wrong to feel anger, that anger makes people go away. When we learn that we are “wrong” to feel certain things…or that we will lose love for feeling certain emotions…we find ways to ignore those emotions. This is a problem for listening to your inner guidance,  because we have learned to ignore how we feel. This means that when you feel that something is wrong for you, you might choose to not explore it and press on a path that doesn’t belong to you.
  4. When we get the message that certain things are wrong to feel, and other things are ok to feel, to need, to enjoy….we turn against ourselves for feeling, needing, preferingthe “wrong” things.

There is no template for the “right” life – there is but YOUR LIFE. We claim this life by clearing and healing the inner conflicts, conditioning, and traumas that interfere with the expression the true voice. This does not mean that there are no challenges…but it does mean, that you create and sculpt yourself according to the real you.

Not Broken, Do not Fix

We are all, everyone, always, without exception, no matter what – choosing happiness. Nobody chooses unhappiness. Noone is punished into wellbeing. So called “self-destruction” “disorders” “conditions” “issues” – are fierce undertakings towards happiness, and not away from it.

This is true about perfectionism, self-doubt, rage, grief, hopelessness, despair, resentment, numbness, aggression, depression, addiction, self-harm, eating disorders, anxiety, loneliness …… these experiences are NOT evidence of defectiveness, poor character, or deprived worth. Not at all. Will power is not the remedy – There is no amount of will power forceful enough to counteract the underlying command of survival, and I would never ask you to fight against yourself in order to heal.

These experiences are expressions of solutions found in moments of crisis. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nothing has gone wrong, in fact you are a brilliant person who has resourced yourself in the most appropriate ways. By making themselves known to you today as pain and a variety of “diagnoses” these so called “symptoms” and “conditions” are parts of you calling for recognition, reclamation, and reparation.

If you are thinking that nothing so intense happened to you, prepare yourself for some validation. If it felt awful, it was awful. If you struggle to feel good today, there are parts of you that are calling for healing.

Dear fear, F*ck You. 

We must express ourselves in order to discover ourselves. Fear is what keeps is locked up inside, keeping secret our talents and capacities from our own discovery. It’s subtle – this fear of self-expression. We don’t always notice that this hums in our backgrounds. What we do notice, is that we feel unfulfilled, tired, stressed and unhappy.  

Arrgh the natural desire to belong in a world of obedience!!! The thing to to create a new reality by being who you are…rather than stuffing yourself into the one that does not fit.  


First of all, When we express our creativity, we discover our natural self. Many of us have a wounded true self that could use some encouragement. This is what I call developmental trauma – big people were totally invalidating to you when you were a little person learning about yourself. You said “I love the colour blue!” “I feel sad” “That looks interesting”… And Someone replied in words or in actions “Don’t do that!” “Not good enough!” “Sit still!”

What do you believe will happen if you show your true self? What were you taught? How were you received? 

We have an inkling of who we are…but no security about who we are until we have experienced ourselves expressing and exploring it in the world. True self is never fully formed…that’s stagnation! True self is the process of unfolding and evolving your creative self into Life. 
When we are programmed to think in patterns and structures and habits.. When we have learned through social conditioning that there is a right way to be, and consequences for falling out of line, when we were punished for being ourselves, invalidated for liking certain colours, foods, songs…we bind the forces of our own creativity, limiting ourselves to what we have been taught to think, in a bid to belong, to survive, to be good. The focus is shifted from “what is the most beautiful thing I can contribute from my natural self into progressing this condition” into “what should I do to fit in” Rather than exploring and unfolding with true choice, what we would like to create and how we would like to create it…we start to fixate on “what will happen to us” rather than on what feels good to give. 

Do you enjoy being technical? Artistic? Analytical? Scientific? Curious? Nurturing? Social? Quiet? Do you enjoy working with your hands? Being in your mind? Spending time outdoors? Working on a project? Teaching? Learning? Sharing? Writing? Cooking? 

These are a few small examples of some aspects of you that you can start interacting with and expressing in the best way that you have available to you in the moment, developing it until you see the next opportunity to develop your self-expression even further.

There are our talents (eg: having an eye for composition)…how we find excitement in expressing the talent (photography, interior design, plating food!)…and in which environment we enjoy expressing our talents (outdoor, indoor, social, quiet, rural,city…)…

When we are afraid to be freely expressive, and yet it is our nature that we must express who we are freely…in order to discover who we are, to feel fulfilled, to feel secure…How can we be well emotionally, in mind, in body, in aliveness ? How can we move forward and create the lives that we want to be living when we fear for ourselves in doing s0? Nothing has gone wrong, but there is work to do. 

We will find our fears and blocks on the way to creating the lives that we want to live, as we get back into the groove of true self expression. These blocks can be cleared. These blocks are not a natural part of us and so fall away when we put the spotlight on them. Question those little buggers. 

What’s blocking you?

Reality check please!

The ego exists within the field of time and space. Attachments (and the personality is a coagulate of identifications/attachments) create the field of the ego in which we become stuck, Clinging to the personality “I am such and such and so and so”. Take up courage and let go of the fear of death of the personality (that’s ego limiting what you can see!) The release of the personality is a relief…release in the sense of understanding that the traits, the identifications and attachments that we call “me” is just a story that can be changed. There is not one permanent thing to which we could cling. Not one emotion, not one belief, not one t-shirt. 

In becoming disidentified from who we believe we are, what we think and feel – Beyond the ego – is the field of consciousness. 

Release the attachments by working with the sensation of the need to hold onto to objects, traits, experiences, conditions. Give the clinging and the resistance that is felt inside unconditional presence. Non-attached presence. Allow the self to be a no-self by observing your inner workings from a still place. You will notice what is true and what is false as a witness who has no stake in any particular condition – one who just watches knowing wisely that this sense of “me” is actually the first layer of “me” and to see past it …we have to experience it’s impermanence. Dissolve attachments dissolve the need to have and to avoid. Find the no-self, and beyond the no-self, the field of consciousness. Ego energies of thought and emotion generate the false reality to which the ego then becomes attached and regenerates. Looks back on and says “this is it” – consciousness is found by letting go of the ego’s creations. Consciousness is the reality field of potentials and possibilities of creation. It is infinite, dynamic, unfolding and giving rise to new potentials as we work with it with the energies of will and intention. The field of the ego is a limited place. Through who you think you are, beyond your attachments, beyond ego…exists the field of Consciousness.

The Willingness to Heal

A single drop of the energy of rejection disables the ability to be fully aware of your consciousness. You must be willing to go anywhere on the inner and outer worlds. This does not mean that you choose everything, but the energy of willingness must be the energy contained within. Willingness is the energy of a true warrior – No roads are off limits to the goal of full consciousness. Willingness is the sight of Consciousness. The energy of rejection creates distortions within the mind and creates blocks in the awareness, like the walls in a maze that one cannot see over. How can one see the full picture, if unwillingness to see has cut the full picture of consciousness and reality into selective fragments? 

These walls are dissolved with the energy of willingess, Turning the field of awareness from a walled maze into an open field. Expand into your consciousness with the energy of willingness. Dissolve the walls and See the horizons to evolve beyond. How can you see fully, if you are bound by what you disown and reject? The absence of the energy of rejection in totality, is a stance of integrity. Willingness creates the internal conditions, the space, for a fullness of being and a fullness of sight. Why do we reject? Because of fear. Fear that we are not enough, that we could fail, that we will face rejection, disappointments, loss….Fear displaces the ability to see clearly. Fear creates an incentive to avoid and to reject. We look at something and feel fear, turning away. How then by turning away can we be fully conscious? Be willing, and you will heal.


True peace cannot come from the enforcement of law. Peace is a natural state of being that will return when we honour our free will. One of the old programs of the collective human consciousness is that law is required to prevent chaos.

In some ways this is true – when we have not chosen to be conscious. When we allow ourselves to stay in the darkness of our own pain, ignoring beliefs that harm us – but still being affected by them, ignoring emotional pains through distraction – we give away our power.  It is time to shed the old program of submission, and trust in our own ability to be whole, healed, purposeful.

Violence is not a sign that we need more control, it is a sign that we have exerted too much force and it is backfiring. Think about the times you were angry and what might have been underneath that anger. Feelings of powerlessness are a common theme.

Freedom is the inheritance of our souls and the responsibility of all Beings. The human spirit is creative and we suffer when we feel trapped. Why build a society that chooses to fight and build prisons when we become more restless, more frustrated, more aggressive, more isolated as a result?

The distinction between criminals and citizens is artificial. The truth is that you have never not been free, and although the pain of feeling trapped is easy to confirm by looking externally, turn focus internally to gain access to a feeling of infinite possibility.

Part of the feeling of trappedness comes from beliefs you may have about being the sum of your observable traits, and what being those traits means to you and to the perspectives you believe matter more than your own.

Creativity is an enemy to oppression, and many of our institutionalized ways of being have succeeded in trapping our perspectives. Remember and access the knowledge that there is always more than the possibility that you believe in right now, and you will feel more and more free.

Much Love.