False self, false reality (Why we lose our standards)

When we are attached to the idea that we need to be something particular, that we should like something that we don’t like, feel a way that we don’t feel…we become separated from our inner guidance. We adopt the standards of the world around us, rather than honouring the standards that are signaled from within.

To reclaim a life that feels meaningful to live, we need to reclaim our individual standards.  Along the way, we’ve adopted the standards of other people; causing us to live by rules that don’t belong to us, and create lives that don’t belong to us either!

So how do you figure our what your true standards are? 

The Blocks:

  1. It’s hard at first. We have been influenced to think and feel in many different ways that often don’t align with what we really want, and have a hard time telling the difference between our core voice and the beliefs are not ours. Let’s call this ‘inner conflict’
  2. Think back to school – Let’s say, you liked math…but you hated art class. You were expected to participate in art class, weren’t you? So you may have felt forced into art. The implied message there was that you should ignore what you prefer and adapt to what you’re told. Had you been nurtured on math, you would have been taught to honour your preferences.
  3. Think back to home – Let’s say you were feeling angry. Did somebody connect with you to work through it?  If not…you might be running the belief/trauma that it is wrong to feel anger, that anger makes people go away. When we learn that we are “wrong” to feel certain things…or that we will lose love for feeling certain emotions…we find ways to ignore those emotions. This is a problem for listening to your inner guidance,  because we have learned to ignore how we feel. This means that when you feel that something is wrong for you, you might choose to not explore it and press on a path that doesn’t belong to you.
  4. When we get the message that certain things are wrong to feel, and other things are ok to feel, to need, to enjoy….we turn against ourselves for feeling, needing, preferingthe “wrong” things.

There is no template for the “right” life – there is but YOUR LIFE. We claim this life by clearing and healing the inner conflicts, conditioning, and traumas that interfere with the expression the true voice. This does not mean that there are no challenges…but it does mean, that you create and sculpt yourself according to the real you.

You create the world – Create the real world by being your Real self. In healing trauma and conditioned limits, you tap back into who you Truly Are.



Dear fear, F*ck You. 

We must express ourselves in order to discover ourselves. Fear is what keeps is locked up inside, keeping secret our talents and capacities from our own discovery. It’s subtle – this fear of self-expression. We don’t always notice that this hums in our backgrounds. What we do notice, is that we feel unfulfilled, tired, stressed and unhappy.  

Arrgh the natural desire to belong in a world of obedience!!! The thing to do..is to create a new reality by being who you are…rather than stuffing yourself into the one that does not fit.  


First of all, When we express our creativity, we discover our natural self. Many of us have a wounded true self that could use some encouragement. This is what I call developmental trauma – big people were totally invalidating to you when you were a little person learning about yourself. You said “I love the colour blue!” “I feel sad” “That looks interesting”… And Someone replied in words or in actions “Don’t do that!” “Not good enough!” “Sit still!”

What do you believe will happen if you show your true self? What were you taught? How were you received? 

We have an inkling of who we are…but no security about who we are until we have experienced ourselves expressing and exploring it in the world. True self is never fully formed…that’s stagnation! True self is the process of unfolding and evolving your creative self into Life. 
When we are programmed to think in patterns and structures and habits.. When we have learned through social conditioning that there is a right way to be, and consequences for falling out of line, when we were punished for being ourselves, invalidated for liking certain colours, foods, songs…we bind the forces of our own creativity, limiting ourselves to what we have been taught to think, in a bid to belong, to survive, to be good. The focus is shifted from “what is the most beautiful thing I can contribute from my natural self into progressing this condition” into “what should I do to fit in” Rather than exploring and unfolding with true choice, what we would like to create and how we would like to create it…we start to fixate on “what will happen to us” rather than on what feels good to give. 

Do you enjoy being technical? Artistic? Analytical? Scientific? Curious? Nurturing? Social? Quiet? Do you enjoy working with your hands? Being in your mind? Spending time outdoors? Working on a project? Teaching? Learning? Sharing? Writing? Cooking? 

These are a few small examples of some aspects of you that you can start interacting with and expressing in the best way that you have available to you in the moment, developing it until you see the next opportunity to develop your self-expression even further.

There are our talents (eg: having an eye for composition)…how we find excitement in expressing the talent (photography, interior design, plating food!)…and in which environment we enjoy expressing our talents (outdoor, indoor, social, quiet, rural,city…)…

When we are afraid to be freely expressive, and yet it is our nature that we must express who we are freely…in order to discover who we are, to feel fulfilled, to feel secure…How can we be well emotionally, in mind, in body, in aliveness ? How can we move forward and create the lives that we want to be living when we fear for ourselves in doing s0? Nothing has gone wrong, but there is work to do. 

We will find our fears and blocks on the way to creating the lives that we want to live, as we get back into the groove of true self expression. These blocks can be cleared. These blocks are not a natural part of us and so fall away when we put the spotlight on them. Question those little buggers. 

What’s blocking you?


Reality check please!

The ego exists within the field of time and space. Attachments (and the personality is a coagulate of identifications/attachments) create the field of the ego in which we become stuck, Clinging to the personality “I am such and such and so and so”. Take up courage and let go of the fear of death of the personality (that’s ego limiting what you can see!) The release of the personality is a relief…release in the sense of understanding that the traits, the identifications and attachments that we call “me” is just a story that can be changed. There is not one permanent thing to which we could cling. Not one emotion, not one belief, not one t-shirt. 

In becoming disidentified from who we believe we are, what we think and feel – Beyond the ego – is the field of consciousness. 

Release the attachments by working with the sensation of the need to hold onto to objects, traits, experiences, conditions. Give the clinging and the resistance that is felt inside unconditional presence. Non-attached presence. Allow the self to be a no-self by observing your inner workings from a still place. You will notice what is true and what is false as a witness who has no stake in any particular condition – one who just watches knowing wisely that this sense of “me” is actually the first layer of “me” and to see past it …we have to experience it’s impermanence. Dissolve attachments dissolve the need to have and to avoid. Find the no-self, and beyond the no-self, the field of consciousness. Ego energies of thought and emotion generate the false reality to which the ego then becomes attached and regenerates. Looks back on and says “this is it” – consciousness is found by letting go of the ego’s creations. Consciousness is the reality field of potentials and possibilities of creation. It is infinite, dynamic, unfolding and giving rise to new potentials as we work with it with the energies of will and intention. The field of the ego is a limited place. Through who you think you are, beyond your attachments, beyond ego…exists the field of Consciousness.


The Willingness to Heal

A single drop of the energy of rejection disables the ability to be fully aware of your consciousness. You must be willing to go anywhere on the inner and outer worlds. This does not mean that you choose everything, but the energy of willingness must be the energy contained within. Willingness is the energy of a true warrior – No roads are off limits to the goal of full consciousness. Willingness is the sight of Consciousness. The energy of rejection creates distortions within the mind and creates blocks in the awareness, like the walls in a maze that one cannot see over. How can one see the full picture, if unwillingness to see has cut the full picture of consciousness and reality into selective fragments? 

These walls are dissolved with the energy of willingess, Turning the field of awareness from a walled maze into an open field. Expand into your consciousness with the energy of willingness. Dissolve the walls and See the horizons to evolve beyond. How can you see fully, if you are bound by what you disown and reject? The absence of the energy of rejection in totality, is a stance of integrity. Willingness creates the internal conditions, the space, for a fullness of being and a fullness of sight. Why do we reject? Because of fear. Fear that we are not enough, that we could fail, that we will face rejection, disappointments, loss….Fear displaces the ability to see clearly. Fear creates an incentive to avoid and to reject. We look at something and feel fear, turning away. How then by turning away can we be fully conscious? Be willing, and you will heal.


True peace cannot come from the enforcement of law. Peace is a natural state of being that will return when we honour our free will. One of the old programs of the collective human consciousness is that law is required to prevent chaos.

In some ways this is true – when we have not chosen to be conscious. When we allow ourselves to stay in the darkness of our own pain, ignoring beliefs that harm us – but still being affected by them, ignoring emotional pains through distraction – we give away our power.  It is time to shed the old program of submission, and trust in our own ability to be whole, healed, purposeful.

Violence is not a sign that we need more control, it is a sign that we have exerted too much force and it is backfiring. Think about the times you were angry and what might have been underneath that anger. Feelings of powerlessness are a common theme.

Freedom is the inheritance of our souls and the responsibility of all Beings. The human spirit is creative and we suffer when we feel trapped. Why build a society that chooses to fight and build prisons when we become more restless, more frustrated, more aggressive, more isolated as a result?

The distinction between criminals and citizens is artificial. The truth is that you have never not been free, and although the pain of feeling trapped is easy to confirm by looking externally, turn focus internally to gain access to a feeling of infinite possibility.

Part of the feeling of trappedness comes from beliefs you may have about being the sum of your observable traits, and what being those traits means to you and to the perspectives you believe matter more than your own.

Creativity is an enemy to oppression, and many of our institutionalized ways of being have succeeded in trapping our perspectives. Remember and access the knowledge that there is always more than the possibility that you believe in right now, and you will feel more and more free.

Much Love.

Understand your Ego and get out of the game

Interpersonal conflict is the BEST circumstance to use as a reference for examining how your particular ego operates, and what gets you STUCK in unhealthy energy exchange.

Here are some basic tools and principles for understanding your unique ego structure and how it may be getting tangled in the ego structures of other people:

  • Ego’s concern is survival. Period. When ego state is ‘on’, fear and control color every experience. 

  • In the face of perceived threat, (eg: fear of embarrassment, rejection, abandonment, loss of control…) the ego deploys its defenses to deal with, and insidiously become INVOLVED with the threat (identifies with it and takes it seriously – the stronger the emotion, the more the ego identifies with the threat).

  • See it, don’t be it. Get out of auto-pilot. Learn to observe yourself as a witness. This means learning how to watch your experience, beliefs, emotions, without identifying with or becoming attached to them.

From the state of self-observation – ask yourself: 

  • Which aspect of myself is perceiving this situation (an inner child, an assumption, a false belief)

  • How does this aspect operate, what is it’s concern, it’s fear, it’s goal (avoid humiliation, stay safe)

  • How does this aspect proceed with solving the problem that it perceives (withdraw, lash out, deny)

Eventually, you get to recognize 'who' (an artificial construct) is operating during conflict, and instead of proceeding through the auto-pilot of this 'character' and playing the game - adding charge to the situation and escalating it rather than ending it – you recognize your 'character,'  fear dissipates, threat dissipates, and the conflict dissipates.

Process is king. Understanding your personal Process (how you handle things on the inner level) and State (what you are experiencing, feeling, believing, on the inner level) are fundamental to developing Conscious Being.